Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Donald Trump Proposes New Wall to Keep out Hurricanes

Donald Trump speaking at a rally for citizens who were unable to attend college, as they misinterpreted SAT as a past-tense verb.

GREENVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA (CDN) — Donald Trump, amidst criticism for refuting climate change as a serious threat, tweeted his concern for South Carolina, as the state was recently ravaged by the passing Hurricane Joaquin.

"Thoughts and prayers for those in the floods affecting the great people of South Carolina", Trump tweeted.

During yesterday's rally — held at the recently opened and ironically named Dylann Storm Roof Center near Greenville, South Carolina — Trump announced an addendum to his plan for a "Great Wall", potentially separating Mexico from the United States.

"This plan is genius. You can ask my friends in China, you can ask all my Muslim friends; they've never heard of a plan so ingenious. If you liked my wall idea, wait 'til you hear this one. I just thought of it this morning. I woke up and told Marla — I mean Melania about this dream I had. It...it came to me, just like that!", Trump rambled on.

After continuing the rhetoric of how great his plan was, Trump finally revealed the specifics, "Okay, get this: So I'm gonna build this wall, right? This wall is gonna keep the Mexicans out. Then I'm gonna extend this wall to cover the entire East Coast. These hurricanes, they come into our country. They're bringing floods, they're bringing earthquakes. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good storms."

Following his proposal, Trump took questions from the audience. One woman asked, "Will this wall reverse climate change?" Trump responded, "We’re going to be looking at a lot of different things, and you know, a lot of people are saying that, and a lot of people are saying that bad things are happening out there. We’re going to be looking at that and plenty of other things."

[Alex Balgobin, Cultural Diffusion Network]

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